6 March 2020

Defining My Own Success


The older I get the more I realise how unimportant it is to lead a busy life. I think it's fine to want an easy ride and to still strive towards your own definition of success. In fact, I feel successful in many aspects of my life.

I might not seem successful from a monetary stand point, but I judge my wealth in other ways. I have no problem divulging that it's simply never been an aim of mine to climb some great big career ladder. I suppose you might assume that makes me unambitious?...I disagree.

What I've been coming to terms with within the past year or so is this - my brain easily becomes frazzled and overwhelmed when life gets increasingly complicated and structured. My home and relationships also become neglected when I'm unable to obtain a level of calm within myself. Basically, I need flexibility in order to achieve a work life balance I can thrive within.

Due to this acknowledgement I now understand that I can't wish for big things or expect too much from myself, and it's not because my self-esteem sucks (it doesn't), but because I don't like to put unnecessary pressure on myself. I don't want to feel disappointment if and when things go wrong. Last year I made a lot of big decisions like quitting two jobs and somewhat spontaneously moving house, so this year I'm hoping to continue taking things easy (because 2019 was a mess for me).

Realistically my only want is to maintain a humble life for myself where me and my partner feel prosperous, which I think we're somewhat achieving currently. I strive to immerse myself in good food, supportive conversation and good company. I want my home to reflect clarity, simplistic moods with personal touches. To feel constantly clean and welcoming always. I don't want to be busy and I don't desire chaos in any form.


For context - Past me didn't appreciate my surroundings which is why I'm making up for lost time now. Past me felt short for time constantly and always anxious. Too exhausted working the grind of 9-5, rushing dinner when I got home, off loading a whirlwind of negativity on my partner, all before falling asleep on his lap by 8pm every evening. Past me also assumed that in order to maintain a level of financial stability I had to sacrifice my mental health and 80% my time. Past me had no idea life could be so uncomplicated. Past me was completely naive and assumed that success couldn't be found from sitting at home. Current me knows it certainly can!

These days you might not see me flitting off on major excursions, but you will find me happy at home. Working flexibly and somewhat being able to choose my hours has done wonders for my health, and the lifestyle balance I've been able to create has been a dream. Yes, I've taken a hit financially and yes it's stressful living paycheck to paycheck, but I wouldn't change things.

Currently and for the past two years this peaceful existence has been working for me, for us. Being at home, cooking dinner every night, having the time and scope to manage my blog and enough free time to spend the rest of my days however I choose is incredibly rewarding. Feeling successful knowing my partner and I have full support in each others creative ventures and careers is incredibly motivating too.

Hopefully someday I might have a little more expendable income to fall back on and money worries will be a thing of the past, but I can be patient and enjoy the present. This year is all about hard work, undoing the past and learning from previous experiences, striving towards the little achievements and living harmoniously in our new home.

18 comments

  1. Making the decision to remove the excess and appreciate the present moment is a wonderful step. Congrats and wishing you lots of peace and luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading. Life is the best it's been in a long while for me currently. I'm certainly feeling successful in my home life x

      Delete
  2. I completely agree that an easier enjoyable ride is more important than being on a rat race of living moment to moment. I believe a full life can still be lived - and even more enjoyed that way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I'm so pleased you can appreciate my stand point. I've led a much busier life in the past and I found it hugely unhealthy. I'm sure for some people it works, but I'm happy living a much calmer lifestyle.

      Delete
  3. Starting anew with anything is a challenge! I experienced that cooking for the first time in a commercial kitchen; it takes time and dedication and the eventual slow process of turning something into the new 'normal' along with the feeling that 'this is home' or 'this is right and this is what I want to do'.
    I wish you all the best in journeying toward a wholesome, harmonious transition into, as you say, a new beginning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely. It could a lot of courage for me to reach this point and understand what I deserve / what I want. I absolutely love cooking, but couldn't imagine being a chef in a commercial kitchen. It's a lot of pressure I'm sure! You are so amazing for being able to cope with that level of stress in your work x

      Delete
  4. This is such a great post! It is so important to strive to have an easier more enjoyable life and enjoy the present without stressing about the future!
    -Charity www.morningsonmacedonia.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I understand that not everyone will aspire to the lifestyle I love, but I'm so glad you do. Life is too short. I think work should work for us and we shouldn't have to change our lifestyles hugely unless we absolutely love our jobs and want to.

      Delete
  5. This was such a great post! I've been working full time as a reporter for three years and at times the stress of the job really gets to me. This week is a perfect example. I took a day off Tuesday (ended up sick) and then was out of work for two days sick. Having those three days off was so relaxing and stress free! I didn't have to worry about a thing! I love what I do, but sometimes I just want to throw in the towel and be done... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading. I would like to be a writer full time, but I'm not sure how I'd fit in at the moment, with a clear rule that I want to work flexibly. I can imagine your job must be so tough sometimes but really rewarding too. I think we all feel similarly to you at too though. Wanting to change things up and make a career adjustment is a normal feeling, especially when we're feeling unwell and tired at work. It makes us question everything. Hope you feel better soon x

      Delete
  6. This was really interesting and it's something that I'm working on this year. I'd love to be able to work from home so that I can have a calmer and more balanced lifestyle.

    I love being at home and just 'being me', and it's taken me a while to realise that that's OK.

    Well done for going for the life that you want, and need 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so pleased you've reached a place where you beginning to feel happy being yourself. There's so much bravery in embracing who we are. Thank you for reading x

      Delete
  7. I agree with you - you define your own success and as long as you're achieving what you want, that's all that matters. It is great that you're appreciating your surroundings now. Sometimes, you're better off doing less for the sake of healing your mental health.

    Nancy ♥ exquisitely.me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. We see success as meaning only one thing in terms of our financial circumstance, but the most wealthy people might still be unhappy with their lives. It's time we define success in other ways and appreciate our other achievements x

      Delete
  8. This is really refreshing to read and it feels like we have very similar priorities in life. I work part-time as I feel it's so much better for my mental health and wellbeing. I enjoy having extra time to focus on my blog, my fitness, time with my family, etc. I don't want to add extra stress into my time if I don't need to for the sake of a bit more money, as there is more important things in life. Thank you for sharing, wishing you all the happiness <3 xx

    Bexa | www.hellobexa.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I work part time too and am able to pick up overtime, which works really well for my mental health. Having the ability to plan my routine in such a way has been so fantastic. I'm so pleased you can relate and are able to find a work life balance that works for you. Thank you for reading x

      Delete
  9. I loved this so much and can completely relate. It’s such a common misconception that busy means successful but it’s not the case! I now only work four days a week and have taken a financial hit but it was so worth it. Love the comment about appreciating your surroundings (fellow Marie Kondo lady ;) ) and creating a humble life for you and your loved one. Exactly what we are trying to do too! Lots of love for this and beautifully written as always xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading Kirstie. I'm so pleased you can relate and that you've been able to achieve a work life balance you're happy with. Hope you're keeping well x

      Delete

Leave a comment...