Hopes & Fears for 2020
As Autumn fades away I begin to ponder the year gone by and what lies ahead.
Be honest, 2019 was really really shit. I wish I had a nicer way of wording it. I hope that's not the case for everyone but the majority of people I've spoken to have also had a bad time. Not just in terms of our economy, government and brexit limbo of course but, personally I don't have many highlights.
During the year I finally fixed my pathetic excuse for eyebrows and moved to my dream home however; I also had a slight mental breakdown, felt totally useless for many months and witnessed my family going through the worst imaginable.
Being the anxious girl that I am has given me ample opportunity to freak out about all of the personal things that could go wrong next year such as more financial worry and increased debt, the possibility of needing to find a new job (again) and failure in making my small blog ambitions a success. On a larger scale I'm increasingly worried about our NHS and the political climate as most of us I think are - will I have access to the medication I may need when I'm unwell? Will my family be able to have the mental health support they need to move forward? etc etc...
My list of worries could literally go on forever. The more anxious I become the bigger the list grows. You can always trust me to catastrophize every situation.
I have some hopes for the year ahead though. No goals specifically and no high expectations.
I simply want a quiet year. I want continued stability in my work, to maintain a calm and mostly stress free lifestyle, to continue and finish decorating our home and to make my stamp as a blogger. That's it. Nothing major or unobtainable. Keeping my head down, working hard and reaping a small reward in the form of peace at mind is good enough for me.
2019 came with a wave of negativity I wasn't anticipating nor was I prepared to manage at all, so I'm trying to be realistic and not set my sights too high. Basically, I will try to do the above mentioned if I'm capable.
In terms of our future as a nation, the one and only statement I can put together about our current path is this - The road ahead is full of uncertainties. I can only hope that things don't get worse. I don't believe this to be true currently and I'm so incredibly sad about the circumstance we find ourselves in today. I do however believe that I know many good people who will do all they can to be kind to those around them and look after their communities.
Starting from now I'm trying to remain calm, trying not to overthink and to enjoy the holidays with my loved ones. I hope we can all do the same this season and find some solace over the coming weeks.
See you in 2020!
See you in 2020!